BEHIND CLOSED DOORS:
The Dressing Room Closet
By: The Duchess Matilda Bonaparte and The Countess Fifi of Davenport
Disclaimer: Readers of this article should note that no actual journalism was conducted in the writing of this column. While some of the persons mentioned may be real, none of the information about them is. If you should find any piece of gossip in this column true, it is a complete accident and you might want to reevaluate your social conduct.
To our faithful readers,
We are proud in the fact that we are nothing but honest with you all. Because of this, to end the semester these writers couldn’t just focus on one person. We’ve decided to be honest about anyone and anything. No one is safe in this edition of Behind Closed Doors.
TIDBITS
- It is official: after witnessing Jake Brown and Nick Scalzo in full drag on the eve of Relay for Life 2008, we can all agree that we wish we were as beautiful as them. However, after seeing the perfection of their ladylike grace, these writers are inclined to question their true gender identities. We came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter if they are male or female, we can’t get enough of them.
Nick and Jake parading as women at Relay for Life
- The Theatre Prom was a success! VIP appearances were abundant: the Phantom of the Opera, the Masked Zorro, and Sergio Soltero as his true self: a creepy Principal. Although rumors say that the prom king and queen elections were in fact fixed and that the real winners were Chris Waldron and Brockett Vola, these writers give mad props to Stephanie Mellini for her heart-warming and inspirational speech that she borrowed from the film Mean Girls.
Batman (Chris Waldron) and The Meer Kat Prom Queen (Stephanie Mellini)
- Rob Ek officially has the cutest chocolate lab in existence. We know. We’ve checked. “Little Bear” has stolen our hearts.
- Yes, those inebriated sorority girls all along the strip really did think the zombies in “Zombie Walk” were real. Fantastic make-up job kids!
- Good news for all! The FBI has called off the search and Shane Shady Brady’s Shady Green Hoodie was returned to him unharmed. I think we can all agree that this is a huge relief. These writers were especially concerned with its disappearance. Luckily, it was not sold for parts on the Black Market.
Shady Brady and his Green Hoodie
- It has been confirmed that Patrick Hethcoat is in fact the evil twin of Ben Hethcoat. Patrick has stolen Ben’s identity and is parading around the SOT under false pretenses, fooling us all. Beware… no one is safe from the desirable and beautiful grasp of Patrick Hethcoat.
The semester has come to an end and we would like to thank all of you for foolishly continuing to be yourselves and providing us with gossip to feed the hungry minds of your peers. But keep this in mind… just because it’s summer does not mean that we aren’t watching you. We’ll be in the wings taking any gossip that comes our way. If you are leaving town: be safe. If you are staying… we’re sorry for your misfortune. We love you all and have a great summer! We bid you adieu. -The Duchess and The Countess |
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New Horizons Program A: On Point with the Flood Story
Margaret Medwedew: Staff Writer: April 2008
I was sitting in the audience after the show, waiting for my friends to get out of run crew, when a thought occurred to me. A philosophical epiphany, a well thought turn of phrase, came upon me and promptly escaped before I could write it down. I scribbled down what I remembered and as I look over my notes, one phrase sticks out: “Playwriting—awesome!”
Playwriting appeals to me as a creative process to express feelings and ideals, but the work put into a short play came into sharp focus as I watched New Horizons Program A. Language hung in the air as visible as the lighting fixtures in the Lab theatre, and I was so thoroughly engrossed, I half forgot to watch the shows with a critical eye. (0,0): On Points of Origin is philosophy masquerading as farce as two legends mentally duke it out for intellectual affirmation. Flood Story takes a unique spin on the myth of the great flood, dealing with the choices made by the |
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Program A is based in character choices, something well-accomplished by all involved.
To begin with a bang, Clayton Henry’s (0,0): On Points of Origin brought the lights up on David McElwee attired as 16th century French
philosopher René Descartes. I wish that every show could begin that way. Describing it is absurd, but under the watchful eye of director David Turner, Babe Ruth (Kevin Grab) was at home in the philosophical playground that Dan’s (Aron Wesolowski) bar presented. Babe and René argued differing viewpoints, but Grab and McElwee stayed on the same plane with their comedic timing, making an otherwise boring debate amusing because of who was involved.
Wesolowski’s bartender was interesting before he donned the bear outfit, and the costume merely helped to increase the humor.
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New Horizons Part B: Is Second Really The Best?
Mari Stonebraker: Asst. News Editor: April 2008
Maybe you remember that childhood rhyme that claims that “second is the best”? Well, when I was assigned to review the second night of New Horizons: Original Works Festival that rhyme kept coming into my mind. Wanting of course to really test the theory, I saw the shows on their second performance night. So did the childhood rhyme hold true? Well, I have to confess that I saw theatre that was inspiring and moving, as well as shocking and unnerving. Not bad for a Wednesday night. The night began with Marla J. Dumont’s An Drochshaol. A play as much about family, brotherhood, and forgiveness as it is about the journey of Ireland becoming part of the United Kigdom, An Drochshaol tells the story of a father clinging to his old home country and his sons, one of which must leave Ireland and the other who has no choice but to stay. Directed by Natalya Baldyga, and starring Joshua Weinstein, |
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Jeffrey Kurtz, and Thomas Randolph all sporting perfect Irish accents that only enhanced the honesty they put into their roles, the play was written with the rhythmic feel that distinguishes a true Ireland native from any other nationality. The rhythm of the play alone had an affect on the ears of the audience by creating a kind of musicality to the story being told. Visually, everything that happened seemed organic, and yet so appropriate that is must have been well planned. For example, when the brothers Eamonn (Joshua Weinstein) and Rory (Jeffrey Kurtz) were bonding over memories, their body language mirrored each other, only to be broken when Rory apologized for an event that was causing an incredible amount of, until then, unspoken tension on the stage. Not only was the language poignant, but the moments of silence that occurred onstage were not gratuitous in any way, but purposeful. There was an understanding of what could not be said and it could be seen in the eyes of the three gentlemen onstage. Click here to view full article |
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New Horizons Program C: From Bagels to Klansmen, This One’s Got It All
Katerina Gawlak : Asst. Features Editor: April 2008
Florida State’s annual New Horizons New Works Festival has only been around for a few years and has offered different and original plays each year just as the name of the event suggests. With each play being a completely new piece, and with each opening night being literally the first night that the play has met a real audience, it’s always interesting to see what unfolds for viewers as the lights go up in the Lab Theatre. The debut of this year’s Program C introduced us to Shannan Johnson’s Stars no Stripes and The Bagelers, written by David Laughlin, and I have never been more pleased to make the acquaintance of two plays.
Program C opened with The Bagelers, which begins as a comedy about two teenagers brought into a police station for the crime of “bageling” a Cadillac and ends with a series of |
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actions that leaves the audience wondering how it all went so terribly wrong. Directed by Dr. Wendy Clupper, The Bagelers moved seamlessly from a drug-infused comedy with hilarious performances from Mark Register and Natalie Caruncho to a more serious-toned story. Themes about respect and repercussions arose for the audience upon the arrival of Michelle Melvin, cousin to Register’s character, who also happens to be the lawyer brought in to clean up the mess created from the offstage drive-by-bagel attack.
Many performances in this production gave varying levels of depth and emotion that offered an interesting contrast to the more simplistic characters like the bageling victim, strongly portrayed by Thomas Towell. For a play that began with a drug trip and a Rubiks Cube and ended with Tasing and imprisonment, the journey the audience was taken on never offered a dull moment.
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